There was a long silence between us. Thankfully, the next song on The Lounge track list started playing. It was Drake’s God’s Plan. I started nodding along with the beats.
“So you are a Drake’s fan?” Shawn asked.
“Oh yes. He makes good music.” I replied. “What about you?”
“I like his music too.” He started. “I love how he has not boxed himself into a box. He can sing and rap.”
“Yes, and he knows his fan base too. He creates music they can enjoy.” I added.
Shawn smiled at me then sipped his drink.
“You know what, I think I am failing as a father.” Shawn said.
“What?” I asked surprised.
“Yeah, I look at my baby girl every time and wonder if I could change her world. You know, so that she can have a better life than me.” He continued.
“Where is this coming from?”
“She is just three years old and yet she has already experienced her parents divorce.” Shawn said. “That should not happen.”
“I know.” I said and held his arm.
“It is life!” He said sounding so defeated.
“If you don’t mind me asking, what happened between you and her mother?” I inquired.
“Wow, I do not know where to start.” He said rubbing his hands together.
“You can start from the beginning if you wish.”
“I guess we did not know each other well to understand our breaking points and weakness. We dated for nine months before I popped the question. She was so excited and said yes! We moved in together and started the formal introductions with each other’s parents.”
“That’s sweet.” I said.
“Oh yes. I loved it. After the parents blessings, we did a twenty guest wedding and started life as a married couple. We later discovered she was pregnant so we started to quickly prepare for the baby who arrived six months after the wedding. It was hectic. I did not know how crazy it is to have a kid let alone change a diaper. My mother came a few times to help and give us advice which really helped.” Shawn said.
“Your mother has been your rock since you were young.”
“Yes she is. I cannot thank her enough.” Shawn continued. “With the crazy schedule of watching over the baby, reporting to work and life between us, things just shifted. I saw her as my kid’s mother and guess she did too. We were physically and emotionally tired to spend time with each other. Then came the infidelity. I started seeing a girl near work but my wife knew. That pulled the strain on everything. We ended up urging daily until she left. I came home one day to find the house empty. She took the kid and moved away.”
I was shocked.
“That’s my I am feeling like I am failing. I do not spend enough time with my daughter.” Shawn said gulping the rest of his drink. He put down his glass and looked at me. “That is why!”